The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar

'We are all but a product of our choices’, is something that we all have heard sometime somewhere. We usually agree with it, but I am not sure how well we understand this. Sheena Iyengar, an expert on the subject of ‘Choices’ brings to you the various dimensions of choices in our lives.

She talks about how we deal with choices, how many choices we want inherently, how not having a choice makes us miserable as much as having too many choices do, how our cultural backgrounds impact the choices we make and how we deal with the choices others make for us, how sometimes we prefer not to have a choice and just about everything around choices.

The book has been written in a storytelling manner that begins with author’s own family, when she talks about her parents getting married to someone who their respective families chose, and not questioning that choice and how that was relevant for them. Then there are lots of stories, some from Sheena’s own life and some from the experiments that she did over a period of time. And I must admit that she is a fine storyteller and knows how to keep her readers engaged through the right mix of stories and knowledge sharing.  I guess she must be a very multi-faceted person, as she chooses people for her study from wide angle. She talks about impact of religion on choices, including going to an astrologer to figure out how they impact choices and why people feel comfortable going to them. They basically help people choose, when they have multiple choices specially the big ones like marriage.

Sheena shares the famous Jam study that she had done as a student to conclude that ‘though we may be drawn to more choices, but when we have to choose we prefer a small set of choices’.  She takes you through the wide variety of choices, small and big and in various facets of life. Sometimes choices can be as simple as choosing a flavor from the dozen available and sometimes as difficult as choosing to let or not let a family member die, and everything in between. She talks about choices that may have a short term impact on us, like not choosing the right dish at the restaurant and sometimes for the rest of your life like choosing a life partner.

At one place she touched upon my favorite topic ‘Innovation’ and how invention is nothing but a set or combination of right choices. I am intrigued by this statement and would like to explore it further.

It is not just difficult, but impossible to believe that Sheena can not see. She brings colors and places so vividly across for you, that you wonder how someone who has not seen it in first person can write so explicitly. Her descriptions of places almost make the scene come alive before your eyes. She mentions her blindness in the beginning of the book and once or twice after that, but then no where she seems to be restricted by it, as if she had made the choice not to be.

I loved reading the book; it had a bit of everything that I look for in a book. A lot of knowledge about ‘Choices’ that I did not know, and was presented in a manner that anyone can understand though based on solid research. It had stories that kept me engaged. There are no prescriptions in the book that tell you what to do and what not to in a given situation. What it provides you with is an understanding of Choices and how we take decisions, without any preaching. Each chapter began with a question that most people can relate to and ended with potential answers to that question. It had a bit of author in it in a way that by the end of the book you feel you know her. When authors keep themselves away from the book, they make the book too dry for the readers. There is that ‘Ras’ in the book that keeps you with the author all the time. Chapters are interestingly named and keep you curious.

It is a book written by an expert for non-experts, so people who are versed in the subject may not find many new things. For others, it is a brilliant book, a must read to help you understand how you make choices and how those choices make you.

18 Common Phrases to Avoid in Conversation

Some things should never be said―like these phrases. Here, what to say instead.

What Not to Say About Someone's Appearance

Don’t say: “You look tired.”

Why: It implies she doesn’t look good.

Instead say: “Is everything OK?” We often blurt the “tired” comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.

Don’t say: “Wow, you’ve lost a ton of weight!”

Why: To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.

Instead say: “You look fantastic.” And leave it at that. If you’re curious about how she got so svelte, add, “What’s your secret?”

Don’t say: “You look good for your age.”

Why: Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It's saying, "You look great―compared with other old people. It's amazing you have all your own teeth."

Instead say: “You look great.”

Don’t say: “I could never wear that.”

Why: It can be misunderstood as a criticism. (“I could never wear that because it’s so ugly.”)

Instead say: “You look so good in skinny jeans.” If you slip, say something like “I could never wear that…because I wasn’t blessed with your long legs.”

________________________________________

What Not to Say in the Workplace

Don’t say: “That’s not my job.”

Why: If your superior asks you to do something, it is your job.

Instead say: “I’m not sure that should be my priority right now.” Then have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities.

Don’t say: “This might sound stupid, but…”

Why: Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with wishy-washy language.

Instead say: What’s on your mind. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence.

Don’t say: “I don’t have time to talk to you.”

Why: It’s plain rude, in person or on the phone.

Instead say: “I’m just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I’m done?” Graciously explain why you can’t talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.

_______________________________________

What Not to Say During a Job Interview

Don’t say: “My current boss is horrendous.”

Why: It’s unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you’d start bad-mouthing her. For all you know, she and your current boss are old pals.

Instead say: “I’m ready for a new challenge” or a similarly positive remark.

Don’t say: “Do you think I’d fit in here?”

Why: You’re the interviewee, not the interviewer.

Instead say: “What do you enjoy about working here?” By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company.

Don’t say: “What are the hours like?” or “What’s the vacation policy?”

Why: You want to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done.

Instead say: “What’s the day-to-day like here?” Then, if you’ve really jumped through every hoop and time off still hasn’t been mentioned, say, “Can you tell me about the compensation and benefits package?”

_______________________________________

What Not to Say About Pregnancy and Babies

Don’t say: “Are you pregnant?”

Why: You ask, she’s not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she’s overweight.

Instead say: “Hello” or “Great to see you” or “You look great.” Anything besides “Are you pregnant?” or “What’s the due date?” will do. Save yourself the humiliation and never ask.

Don’t say: “Do you plan on breast-feeding?”

Why: The issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly.

Instead say: Nothing. Unless you’re very close, don’t ask. If you slip, make up for the blunder by adding, “And do you feel comfortable telling me?”

Don’t say: “Were your twins natural?” or “It must have been hard for your child’s birth parent to give him up.”

Why: You’re suggesting that natural conception is better than in vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption.

Instead say: To a parent of multiples, try a light “Wow, you have your hands full!” To an adoptive parent, say the same stuff you would to any other parent: “She’s adorable!” or “How old is he?”

_______________________________________

What Not to Say to a Single (or Newly Single) Person

Don’t say: “You were too good for him.”

Why: You are basically saying she has bad taste. And you’ll be embarrassed if they ever patch it up.

Instead say: “His loss!” It gets the same point across without disparaging her judgment.

Don’t say: “I’m glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway.”

Why: She’ll wonder about your fake adoration for him while they were together.

Instead say: “I’m confident you’ll find someone who will give you exactly what you want.” It focuses on what’s to come, not on the dud you’re glad she’s done with.

Don’t say: “How could someone as perfect as you still be single?”

Why: A statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is “What’s wrong with you?”

Instead say: “Seeing anyone?” If she’s tight-lipped about her love life, move on to other topics.

________________________________________

What Not to Say During a Fight with Your Beloved

Don’t say: “You always” or “You never” or “You’re a [slob, jerk]” or “You’re wrong.”

Why: Speaking in absolutes like “you always” and “you’re wrong” is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.

Instead say: “I’m upset that you left the dishes in the sink again. What can we do so that this stops happening?” Starting with the pronoun I puts the focus on how you feel, not why he’s in the doghouse, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem.

Don’t say: “If you really loved me, you would...”

Why: The more you treat your partner as if he’ll never satisfy you, the less satisfied you’ll be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something isn’t a good way to build intimacy.

Instead say: “I feel taken for granted when you don’t help around the house. I would feel better if we could…” The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you’re upset and then offer a solution.

Ordering Pizza by 2020...

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold on.......8898613561 02049998- 45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.9"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.. ."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registra tion number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing.! .... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... "

Customer: "***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))"

Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on  5th June 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Customer: Faints...

error 345 occurred !

CD in drive

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yes.

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen!

Tech support: OK, I see Aaaa!



White Comp
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...



Icon on Left
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?


Printer Problem
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


Password
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.



AntiVirus Program
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.



Screen Saver
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Single Ready To Mingle ?

Okay, so here’s the deal. I was browsing through a couple of matrimonial sites (my freelancing job forced me to do so ! ) and I was a bit taken aback by what I saw.

Looking for a Bride

SOFTWARE ENGINEERS:

Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .

There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.

She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY.

We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.

DOCTOR:

Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

LAWYER:

I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidatefor the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lordi.e.Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

BANKER:

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

SHAYAR (Poet):

Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,
Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,
Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,
To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.

DRUNKARD:

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

CAR MECHANIC:

Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average..... .......

Interested? Click here

Not only boys, girls profiles are interesting too !

Looking for a Groom

Profile 1 : Our daughter is 26 years old. She is beautiful with fair/wheatish complexion and is excellent in studies. She is Godfearing, hardworking and has a fun loving personality with no mood swings. No bad habits. She is currently employed in a multinational company earning a crapload of money. Her dad is a kickboxer and is very protective of her. Her mom is a retired principal and loves giving impositions. She has two siblings, both in the army and having guns. We are looking for an alliance of same caste with a super crapload earning, NRI boy who’s a doctor/head of company/engineer/astronaut, yet down to earth and will look after her.

Profile 2 : Our daughter is 25 years and 364 days old. She is excellent in complexion and fair/wheatish in studies. She is hardworking by nature and funloving. Very religious too. Absolutely no bad habits or mood swings. She is currently employed in a college that receives funds from a multinational company that earns a crapload of money. Her dad is a principal and mom is a kickboxer who is very protective of her. She has one sibling – he owns a gun. We are looking forward to hearing from people of same caste who earns more than our daughter’s MNC funded college. He should be a /doctor/ down to earth astronaut/ engineer and look after her well.

Profile 3 : Our daughter is 26 years and 1 day old. She is extremely hardworking and very fun loving. She is fair throughout the day and wheatish by personality. God loves her. She has no bad habits and lots of good habits. Her dad is a retired army man who owns no weapons and mom is a housemaker. Her elder brother works in the Gulf, doing stuff which is not entirely illegal. We are looking forward to hearing from like minded NASA working outgoing spacesuit wearing pilots/doctors/engineers of same caste and pincode area, preferably from Earth if not down to it ,who will look after here.

P.S. She is a kickboxer and is very protective of herself. Prone to mood swings

Express Interest

Cheers !

Sajan Re Jooth Mat Bolo (Don't Lie, Dear )

Sajan Re Jhoot Mat Bolo is a Comedy TV serial on SAB TV introduces the greatest humor from situational lies and liars.

I sometimes used to wonder why we are always told to tell the truth or not to tell a lie. And then I came to believe that it was to keep our lives less complicated, because when you tell the truth you do not have to remember what you said, and also your brain does not have to do regression testing of every situation that may get effected. Just as in software testing, every time you make any small change in the code, you have to test and re-test everything to see that it is not affecting any un-imaginable or ‘not so obvious’ components, every time you tell a lie you have to do a calculation like chess moves and see where all you will have to synchronize the facts and lies.

Now this is what the scientists in the western world have recently found out:

“Brain scans show that the brains of people who are lying look very different from those of people who are telling the truth”, claim U.S. researchers. "There may be unique areas in the brain involved in deception that can be measured with fMRI," said Dr. Scott Faro, director of the Functional Brain Imaging Center at Temple University School of Medicine in Philadelphia. "There may be unique areas in the brain involved in truth telling," Faro added at a news conference. "We found a total of seven areas of activation in the deception (group)," he said. "We found four areas of activity in the truth-telling arm." Overall, it seemed to take more brain effort to tell the lie than to tell the truth, Faro found.”

Your brain actually has to make more effort to tell a lie, may be because you have to think, calculate and then speak. You have to cook up data in your brain and then speak, while telling a truth is just like querying data and publishing it as such without any manipulations.

Interesting, isn’t it?

The Sands Of Time by Sidney Sheldon

“The Sands Of Time” is a 1988 novel by Sidney Sheldon, which encapsulates the lives of four nuns of a Cistercian convent in Spain who elope during a military attack on the convent by the GOE (a special group formed to pursue basque terrorists) headed by Colonel Acoca. These four nuns of the Cistercian convent of the strict observance get trapped in the hands of Jaime Miro, a basque rebel wanted by the GOE. As it turns out, a slip of the tongue during a conversation with the nuns leads to a predicament which forces Jaime Miro to carry along the four nuns with his gang and escort them to their destination. Henceforth, the lot splits to travel in different groups taking different routes, thereby evading the watchful GOE army led by Colonel Acoca. The rest of the story is all about how this journey goes on, taking unpredictable turns.

First of all, I loved this fascinating plot and the sub plots by Sidney Sheldon. Sidney Sheldon has proven that he is such a master of dialogues and plot twisting. The characterization of the nuns and their background stories in spaced flashbacks were fun and riveting. I felt the novel getting a bit lewd quite unnecessarily a few times, as it would generally in most Sheldon works. Sidney Sheldon’s sarcasms and wit were pretty much present here as well and were amusing. Then, the climax was excellent. I was taken by surprise absolutely. I predicted a tragic end, but Sheldon made me smile with a happy one!!!

Thanks Rupali for the lovely gift !

Whatever Happens, Happens For The Best !

I always used to preach that whatever God does to us or happens with us happens ultimately for the good or better only. And I have been severely criticized for feeling so from absolutely all quarters, but this one belief stays and has been instrumental in carrying me through my life successfully and that is why I see something good happening to this world.

And sometimes things happen to us that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection we find that without overcoming those obstacles we would have never realized our potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of our soul. Without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people we meet who affect our life, and the success and downfalls we experience, help to create who we are and who we become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Lord knows what is best for us.

Cheers !

Man of the House

I haven't read this book so this is not a review. I was reading a comic and came across how a little Reading could be Dangerous.......

The husband had just finished reading the book 'Man of the House.'

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said,

"From now on I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law. I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert. Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair? "

His wife replies, "the funeral director would be my guess."

One Liners :


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'

'I never know how much of what I say is true.' Bette Midler

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. Margo Kaufman

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

'There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.'- Alice Thomas Ellis

'It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.' -Tallulah Bankhead

Some Psychology :


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Well, Thats it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Music – The Essence of Life

For most people music is an enjoyable, although momentary form of entertainment. But for those who seriously practiced a musical instrument when they were young, perhaps when they played in a school orchestra or even a rock band, the musical experience can be something more.

Albert Einstein is recognized as one of the smartest man who has ever lived. A little known fact about Einstein is that when he was young he did extremely poor in school. His grade school teachers told his parents to take him out of school because he was "too stupid to learn" and it would be a waste of resources for the school to invest time and energy in his education. The school suggested that his parents get Albert an easy, manual labor job as soon as they could. His mother did not think that Albert was "stupid". Instead of following the school's advice, Albert's parents bought him a violin. Albert became good at the violin. Music was the key that helped Albert Einstein become one of the smartest men who has ever lived. Einstein himself says that the reason he was so smart is because he played the violin. He loved the music of Mozart and Bach the most. A friend of Einstein, G.J. Withrow, said that the way Einstein figured out his problems and equations was by improvising on the violin.

No matter what kind of music you listen to, it makes your mood better. we are more optimistic, joyful, friendly, relaxed, and calm after listening to music. If we were already feeling good, the positive vibes are increased, and if we were feeling down, music helps to feel less pessimistic and sad. Music proved successful in mood regulation, energy raising and tension reduction. The only emotion it didn’t affect seemed to be fear – which was neither raised nor lowered by music.

Music has measureable physical effects in lowering blood pressure, slowing or increasing breathing and pulse rates, and affecting brain waves. Music can:

Reduce stress: Music relaxes your muscles and reduces your breathing rate, both of which are directly related to stress.

Make you happy: Music can stimulate your body to produce serotonin (the happiness hormone) and so elevate your mood.

Alter your brain waves: Music can alter your brain wave pattern and so elevate your mood even after you stop listening to it.

Motivate you: Listening to motivating music can make you become more motivated yourself.

However some music can hook you back into repetitive patterns, so watch out for songs that carry bad memories. People who listen to romantic songs after breakups recover 10 times slower than those who don’t, (Huh! this is something new ) so edit your playlist if you want to recover faster.

One cannot deny the power of music. High school students who study music have higher grade point averages that those who don't. These students also develop faster physically. Student listening skills are also improved through music education. Napoleon understood the enormous power of music. He said, “Give me control over he who shapes the music of a nation, and I care not who makes the laws.”

Everyone Is Gifted But Some People Never Open Their Package

A young man was ready to complete his studies. For several months he had seen a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom and he knows his father is able to buy it, he told his father about that car.

As graduation day approached, the young man expected that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him. His father tell him how proud he was feeling to have such a good son, and told him how much he loved him. He gave his son an attractive gift box.

The young man opened the box and found a pretty, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raises his voice & told his father, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and leaves the house, leaving the holy book.

After lots of years the young man was become a good businessman. He had a big home and wonderful family, he realized that his father was very old and he had not seen him from the time of graduation day. Before he goes there, he received news about his father’s death and willed all of his properties to his son. He wanted to come home without delay to take care of things. When he arrived at his father's home, he feels sadness. He starts to search his father's important papers and saw the new Bible, just as he had left it time ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read, a car key dropped from a cover tape at the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the trader's name, the same trader who had the sports car he had much loved.

Many time we miss blessings as they are not packaged as we like……….

My Friend Sancho by Amit Varma

Chetan Bhagat has sure inspired a whole generation of writers to write, and in some cases they have taken forward his legacy to the next level. This book I would put in the same category. Language is witty and it does make you laugh. It is a book written by a boy and by a blogger for the people who belong to the age of blogging and sharing instant thoughts about things that are instantly around them.

Protagonist Abir Ganguly is a journalist and lands in a situation where he has to write about two aspects of a story and while doing this he gets entangled with a character in his story. There are no twists and turns in the story. Written in first person it only talks about the protagonist, his life as a journalist in a big city and his dealing with this one particular story. What makes the book worth reading is the tongue and cheek language, the monologues that the protagonist has with himself, his funny description of unexpressed thoughts and wishful thinking and his inventive talks with the lizard in his house.

Though there was no need, Amit leaves no opportunity to promote his blog throughout the book, by the end you know that when he mentions internet he is bound to talk about his blog. Sometimes the book looks like an extension of his blog, the one liners keep coming every now and then. The protagonist is almost like the alter ego of the author. Sorry Amit, hazards of being a famous blogger, people know you more than you think.

Why do I see a Hindi film in all the new age novels? Is it because the writers have grown up under the influence of Hindi films so that shows in their writing or is it that they all are eyeing converting their books into films?

A quick, easy and funny read.

The Doctor

Got this as a forward mail, and I'm sure it will make u smile ................. its in gujarati(u'll miss fun if u dont know!!!)

કેટલાક યથાર્થ નામધારી ડૉક્ટરો !


ડાયેટિશિયન : ડૉ. તન-સુખ-ઘાટ-લિયા

આંખના ડૉક્ટર : ડૉ. નયન રોશન

ગેસ્ટ્રોએન્ટ્રોલોજિસ્ટ : ડૉ. પવન આઝાદ

કાર્ડિયોલોજિસ્ટ : ડૉ. હૃદયનાથ

ગાયનેકોલોજિસ્ટ : ડૉ. જન્મેજય

બાળકોના ડૉક્ટર : ડૉ. બાલકૃષ્ણ જોષી

માનસિક રોગના ડોક્ટર : ડૉ. મનસુખ વાઘેલા

નાક-કાન-ગળાના ડોક્ટર : ડૉ. કાનજી ગલાણી

અનેસ્થેટિસ્ટ : ડૉ. જાગૃતિ સુવાગિયા

કેન્સરના ડૉક્ટર : ડૉ. પ્રાણજીવન જીવરાજાની

પશુચિકિત્સક : ડૉ. મયૂર પોપટલાલ હાથી

THE FLIPSIDE by Adam J Jackson

This is one of the self help books. They are good to read when you are feeling down and out, they can pep you up for sometime but beyond that they may not serve much of the purpose.

This book, which talks about ‘Finding the hidden opportunities in life’, came to me for review. Like most self help books this book is also full of real life stories. Most of these stories show how individuals came out of the worst situations in their lives and how they not only survived the traumas that life threw at them but also found the opportunities that this situation had hidden inside the misery. If you have been a reader’s digest reader, lots of these stories would remind you of stories there. There are so many stories that it would almost make you feel that you would be a fool if you do not find that bright spot in a dark night.

On a lighter note, the stories reminded me of an old joke of a criminal telling the Judge that you can show me two people who saw me stealing but I can show you millions who did not. But having said that the stories do have the potential to inspire people to look beyond what they have lost in the tragedies and focus on what they are still left with. Author begins by focusing on what happens when a crisis or a trauma hits you and then goes on to share stories of people who were hit but who came out brighter out of their low points in life. He then gives a step by step way to find out flipside during a crisis, most of which is asking yourself questions from various perspectives like a commercial opportunity, an opportunity to discover your relationships and if you ask all these questions, somewhere you are going to get the positive. Now, if you hold on to this positive and start building your life from there on, you have found the flipside in your tragedy.

It’s a quick, fast and easy read. There are lots of examples that you might have read as internet forwarded mails. It may be a good gift for someone around you who may not have anything going right at the moment and the stories and theory in this book may inspire them, otherwise you can skip the book.

Kya Bhoolun Kya Yaad Karun by Harivansh Rai Bachhan

Autobiography of Harivansh Rai Bachhan is in four volumes. This one is the first in that series and talks about approximately first 28 years of his life. This is a difficult book to review, one because it is an autobiography, second because it comes from an era, which you do not relate to and third because the author has described the era and his life in so many layers and dimensions that even after completing the book, you are still discovering the layers and meanings of what he says.

He starts by tracing his family lineage from some 500 years before he was born, and then goes on describe the characteristics of Kayastha, the community that he belongs to. I often used to wonder about the surname Bachhan, as to where it came from, because have not heard it anywhere in and around Allahabad also. And the revelation came from this book, Bachhan was the pet name of Harivansh Rai, and instead of Srivastava which was his original family name, he used Bachhan both as his surname and his pen name. He talks about the family tree in great detail, the circumstances of a lower middle class family in that era and how most people lived hand to mouth. How the families operated, how some people always became the victims of family politics and some people ended up taking responsibility of the extended family.

He talks in great detail about his own evolution as a poet and writer. The people who contributed to his poetry, were his inspirations, or gave him the experiences that could give him poetic insights into life and people. It is interesting to read about three women and a few men who contributed to his poetic evolution, his struggle to remain a poet and not let himself get lost in the struggle for life. He describes his relationships in great detail, and how each of them contributed to his growth.

The honesty and bluntness with which he writes about himself and his family is unbelievable, most of the times you can relate to what he says about people and human behavior. When he is describing his struggle to earn money while making all the efforts to establish himself as a poet, you can clearly make out what distinguishes winners from losers. For all his life, he never slept more than 4 hours a day, he did all kinds of jobs to sustain himself and his family, and also ensured that he nurtured the poet in him everyday. He did not get any royalty for first book, just got a share of copies from the first print. His most famous book ‘Madhushala’, he had to publish himself, since the publisher was playing games with him, while describing all this he also acknowledges that he did not like or enjoy doing anything except writing.

He describes his relationship with his first wife Shyama, very sensitively. How she came into his life, when he was getting over his relationship with another woman, and how she was a teenager, a delicate flower like girl when they got married and how her devotion to him gave him stability in life and how she matured on to become his pillar of strength. This volume actually finishes with the death of Shyama, probably a logical turning point in his life.While he was married he got attracted to another woman, and he can’t pin point what she meant to him, but he would let her use him willingly.

One dark shade of life

"As I entered one of the biggest old age home in the city, I saw one old man gazing at a single beautiful bright flower amidst many on the ground. He was so engrossed with its beauty that he would smile at it and shake his head. I wanted to pat his back or rather peep in his heart to read the message of the flower, but I just opted silence and stood just beside him. After few minutes I saw a tear rolling down his cheek. I was perplexed was he happy or sad? What was the message from the flower that made him sink so deep in his thought? What did it remind him? Was he gazing at the flower or his own life?

I looked at his eye they were burning red with agony and pain. He had just realized that his life is just like this bright flower. Many would come and glorify the new bloomed flower in the dawn, but after a day or two when its colours had withered to darkness and it cannot stand firm with its head held high, the same people would walk unnoticed without even heeding its cry."

Life seems to be meaningless. Isn't it ? An individual slogs all through his life for the family and with a view that a day would come when he can just relax in his armchair and read his favorite book and tell tales of his youthful days to the younger generation. He will term those days as "And they lived happily ever after". Alas! he forgets that the day of his rest is someone else's busy day and the loved one won't even owe a second for him.

Vicissitudes of life have contributed to the misery of elders with none to depend on, no means of income, no emotional security making them destitute with a question, about how to carry on with their lives. The growing intolerance among youth, coupled with their inability to adjust with the elderly, is just one of the prime reasons for the rise in the number of old age homes in India.

The fading joint family system in India and other innumerable factors have given rise to west-inspired phenomena of old age homes. Surprising cost of living and scanty return on savings have almost pushed these senior citizens on roads. Such an act has triggered the security net of the helpless, which has almost vanished in many states in India with Kerala topping the list.

They have started walking out of their own home in search of a journey that promises peace, joy and celebration of life with a group of people who share the same boat of life (the wrecked one). However not may rather none of them receive it. Young people with vigor and strength forget that its not too late for them to be in the same shoes. Its just one life that we all have,why can't we be a support to the needy who is not a stranger? Why cant we build a world of love that shelters all, irrespective of age? Why can't life just begin after retirement, than end?

If you respect the one who has moulded you into a fine being, then just hold their hand and lead them straight into your home. They don't need your money or luxury, they just need a shoulder to lean. Help them lead the last few days of their life that doesn't trigger loneliness.

It Isn’t that Bad…

The other day I was reading a quotation in the newspaper, saying that Love and failure are the only two things that give you maturity. Today wen I met Smita , my childhood friend I realized how true this fact is. Try to think about the persons, who have never fallen in love or have never suffered a major failure in life, you’ll quite probable to feel a lack of maturity among them. And this is evident from their thoughts, actions and reactions. They have never realized the deepest emotions and the feelings that come up when one has failed. When some big failures or heart breaking events take place in our lives, most of us go through a phase of depression and detachment for some time. The time depends on the how serious you were about the thing you just lost. And these are the times that give us an insight into all that life is. These times take us deep down somewhere away from everything and when we come out of them we realize that there is much that is beyond what we have lost.

When we loose someone, we tend to feel that it is the end of the world and we are into a gloom which we feel will never end. We get disinterested in everything and everyone around us. But after some time you start feeling that there are other things and options too in this world and your life. With passage of time you start coming put of your shell. It is during this state that you start appreciating numerous other things. And the most important thing is that you start knowing yourself better than ever before. You start recognizing your hidden desires, the things you always wanted to do but were too engrossed in other things to pay attention to them. You start giving thought to your talents, abilities and capabilities. Many persons take to their artistic instincts. They either go ahead to learn something or improve upon if they have already learnt something. The difference between the earlier learning and now is that a level of maturity and depth is added. The way you look at things is changed. You might have acquired an artistic skill earlier just to add it to list of things you know, or because you had a liking for it or because it was thrust upon you since your early days. But now you put yourself into these things to have peace for yourself or you like these things to be your companions in solitude.

A few years back Smita was very good at language and would do just about anything to enrich it, and had many interests that made her popular in every kind of group. She was twenty-three then and just out in the professional world. As a human she also fell in love with a colleague of hers. She was totally absorbed in her dream world . But before her dreams could take a real form, they were shattered. That is when she went into a shell and refused to believe anybody and preferred to stay aloof. If she had to be in the company of others, she would maintain such silence that each one around would feel the heat of discomfort. Best of her friends could not make her speak and one by one started drifting apart. She stayed in this state for about a year , when all she would do was to stare the ceiling of her room with her mind wandering what has happened.

After a year or so she started braking the shell at least for herself. She joined a study group to study some ancient scriptures. She always had a desire to do read them but could never manage time for it as it was divided among all the persons she was associated with in the past and there were things which always took the priority. Now that she has distanced herself from all such distractions and was completely available to herself, she whatever she did had cent percent concentration .She also started putting her free time into reading. This helped her nourish her thirst for fulfilling her literary interests. She restarted her classical dance practice. Still she was not very interested in talking to anybody and was happiest when all alone, but she did not let her mind wonder here and there but would put it in doing things that satisfied the person inside her.

In the process when she had a need to express herself, she could not relate herself with anybody. It was not that people around her were not ready to listen to her or would not have understood her and her feeling, after all we all go through it sometime or the other may be to a different extent. But as a matter of belief, she did not want to express herself. This made her one day to sit and write about all that she needed to express. And in fact all the reading that she had been doing, helped her to emerge as a writer. Today she regularly writes for a periodical and the writer in her is a gift of all the suffering that she had gone through. The literary interests and the appreciation of language were always there but it was her suffering and her failure in love that brought maturity to her thought and it was her detachment from the world that gave her enough time and concentration to put herself so well on the paper.

The positive aspect in the whole story is that with the flow of time not only is Smita coming out of her depression also a new human being is taking birth inside her who does not gets disturbed easily by life’s turmoil, probably because she has already seen the worst. Now she has an attitude which is which is more understanding of other persons’ emotions and feelings and acceptance of the life as it is and not how she wanted it to be.

As persons who can see his death approaching, are the ones who live life to the fullest, similarly when a person has suffered enough or have lost people dearest to them, start looking at life with a different perspective.

So failure is not all that bad. Imagine all that we miss if we miss failure in life.

Recipe Fafda (Chickpea snack)

Finally succeed to make fafda, The famous gujarati snack.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups Besan

• 1/4 tsp Baking Soda

• 1/4 tsp Ajwain

• 1/4 tsp Turmeric Powder

• 1 tbsp Oil

• 1/2 tsp Salt

How to make Fafda:

• Mix the besan, soda, ajwain, haldi, oil (1 tbsp) and salt together in a bowl. Add water to it and knead into soft dough.

• Take a portion of the dough and place it on a greased surface.

• With base of your palm, flatten the dough and drag the dough in straight line(it looks like strip). with the help of thin knife apart the strip from surface

• Fry these strips over medium heat until crisp. Let them cool.

• Fafda is ready to eat. Serve with spicy chutney.

Here is a fafda making video which is on LARI :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgujBQVjcnc&feature=related

Keep smiling !!!!!!!!

Misconceptions about donating blood

People want to donate blood but there are some Misconceptions about donating blood make them reluctant from donating. Here I’ve tried to sort out some of them.

"I will feel drained and tired after donating" - You will not feel drained or tired if you continue to drink fluids and have a good meal.

"I cannot resume normal activities" - You can resume all your normal activities, though you're asked to refrain.

"I will have low blood" - If you are okayed to donate by the doctor you will still have surplus blood after the donation.

"I can't take alcohol..." - You can on the next day.

"It will be painful while donating" - No, you will not feel any pain.

"I will feel dizzy and may faint" - You will not faint or feel uncomfortable after donating blood.

"I may get AIDS!" - No! Make sure disposable syringes are used and all measures are taken to keep you germ free.

"My blood is common. I don't think there will be demand for it" - That is why the demand for your type is greater than for rare types.

so friends Donate blood to save a life ……. and feel good !

Woman's Day 2010

Every year, about 78,000 mothers die in childbirth and from complications of pregnancy in India, according to the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF). The figures illustrate how poor women in rural India have largely been left behind by India's economic boom which has lifted millions of people out of poverty.

India's maternal mortality rate stands at 450 per 100,000 live births, against 540 in 1998-1999. The figures are way behind India's Millennium Development Goals which call for a reduction to 109 by 2015, according to UNICEF. By comparison, fellow Asian giant China's maternal mortality rate has dropped to below 50.

India's fight to lower maternal mortality rates is failing due to growing social inequalities and shortages in primary healthcare facilities. Millions of births are not attended by doctors, nurses or trained midwives, despite India's booming economy which grew at nearly 9 percent in each of the past three years. Around two-thirds of Indian women still deliver babies at home. Women from the lower castes suffer the most as they are often denied access to basic healthcare.

Maternal deaths are avoidable with the help of skilled health personnel, adequate nutrition, better medical facilities and family planning, medical groups say. But poor women, especially in rural India where fertility rates are higher and teenage marriages are common, face an uphill battle to overcome lack of access to medical care.

Health centre staff in many areas demanding money from poor women for delivery. Many were turned away from the centres and were forced to give birth on the road or the hospital compound.

Indian women get married at a median age of just 17 years. Among women aged 15-19, 16 percent have already begun childbearing. The younger a girl is when she becomes pregnant, the greater the health risk for herself and baby.

Women's food intake must improve if the region's high maternal mortality rate is to drop. More than half of Indian women have anaemia, another potential killer during childbirth, compared to 24 percent of men.

"Inside the homes, women are the last to get food. They are much more vulnerable and that is why they are dying."

Tarikh pe Tarikh (Why so much waiting)

Many people must have heard of this dialogue "Tarikh pe Tarikh" from Damini movie, it must be really frustrating experience to the people who are suffering from that syndrome of Government.The same happens to people who says “No matter what is, I hate waiting!”


to wait for the bathroom ;
to wait in long lines of the grocery store ;
waiting for answers that you already know the answer to ;
waiting for ordered food (they say 1/2 hour they mean 2 hours) ;
waiting for a parking spot when someone knows you are waiting, so they go as slow as possible;

or it could

Be a reply on messenger/e-mail;
Be a girlfriend or flight delay hours if any;
Be salary at the end of the month;
Be that holiday;
Be huge queue .... that is the hospital, bank, cash etc.
Be exam result;
Be that link ... and the phone that never rings ...!

Give Me Some Sunshine..

GIVE ME SOME SUNSHINE, GIVE ME SOME RAY, GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE, I WANNA GROW UP ONCE AGAIN. - From the movie 3 idiots

I’m an Indian and by seeing the current status of nation, I don’t feel proud of myself and my nation at all. “So mein se Assi Beiman Fir Bhi Mera Bharat Mahan”. What a poor joke!

Before one and half years back in Gujarat different colleges were working under different universities, few were dimmed universities, but after that all were together combined under GUJARAT TECHNICAL UNIVERSITY. Now syllabuses are changed for students but I didn’t find any creative or worth in doing so. The condition is worst because students are over burdened because previous few subjects are combined to make one subject, so syllabuses have become lengthier.

Most of the students are getting admission to earn more and more money, which is again good for themselves and their parents. One or two students were interested to join Indian Defense and civil services. No one is interested to join politics, no one is interested to become a scientist or inventor or businessman. Every one is interested to do job under others. Everyone wish financially secure life without risk and struggle.

This means that no more Ambanies and Tatas will be born anymore. (bad news for India)

Don’t spoil my cake !!

Now that is shocking, but I’m used to listen this now from teenagers. In colleges of India we are not giving quality education, we are producing quantity of engineers. I’m having sympathy to those people who are always opposing western culture and progress without knowing their latest syllabuses with superb infrastructure of colleges. Because they are not ready to see the nude truth of society in which still girls are killed because of their gender before birth.

I believe that teaching is one of the biggest responsibilities in society, because we are working with young blood. We are in a race to win, to gain more and more money. Today youngsters forget to create their own path; they are path followers like others. That’s a bad sign for society for growth as well as for creativity.

Day by day teenager suicide cases are increasing. Parents should be close to their kids, they should provide healthy atmosphere in home. I believe that communication is the best way to remove depression of your kids, one hour quality time one can spend with their kids, they can motivate them, none of parents were saying their kids that no matter how much marks you will get in examination but grasp the topic thoroughly. That can be the biggest achievement for a student.

But mostly parents are not motivating students but they are remanding to their own kids.(P...lease, Life is not just a competition)

Give right your kids to decide what they wish to do in life, you can advice them, but you should not command them to choose career according to your wish. Let them be responsible for their life. Every profession now a days is full of opportunities and competitions. Let them survive themselves. I always say that difficulties are god messages to improve, to generate new abilities in oneself.

If only these many changes occur then I believe that atleast India will get few patents or few good scientists indeed.

KIDS ARE LIKE BIRDS, LET THEM FLY TO THEIR DESTINATION OF THEIR OWN SKY.

Murphy's Love Laws

Murphy's Law

1. All the good ones are taken.

2. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corollary to 1)

3. The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.

4. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.

5. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

6. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

7. The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.

8. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

9. Nice guys(girls) finish last.

10. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

11. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Murphy's Law

Murphy must never have imagined that his casual statement would someday become law! Murphy's Laws symbolize the error-prone nature of people and processes. Given below is a top 10 list of Murphy's Laws. These weren't actually uttered by Murphy. They just belong to the category of quotations that are known as "Murphy's Laws."

1. If something can go wrong, it will.
2. If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
3. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
4. Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
5. The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
7. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
8. The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
9. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
10. The first myth of management is that it exists.

here are Murphy's Love Laws

Diet tips

Avocado lowers cholesterol and promotes supple skin. Mash it with lemon & salt for tangy guacamole or add slices of it to a salad.

Add purple foods to your diet. Eating one or more cups of blueberries every day improve communication between brain cells, thus enhancing your memory.

A regular helping of raw or lightly cooked broccoli can lower your risk of heart disease, stroke & cataract, protect you against breast cancer & prevent anaemia.

Chew on pumpkin seeds. Apart from being a good source of magnesium, it helps clear a muddled head and lift a bad mood.

Eat a little healthy fat, like a handful of walnuts, about 20 minutes before a meal. It will take the edge off, so you won't be tempted to overeat.

Increase the intake of bitter gourd in your diet. Rich in vitamin A, B1, B2 and C, it purifies your blood tissues, enhances digestion and stimulates the liver.

Nibble on low-fat, healthy snacks through the day. It'll keep you full & help curb the temptation to over-indulge when you're out socialising.

Check your diamond

Either you are going to shop for a diamond or you want to find out that the gift you have received on your birthday or anniversary from a special friend is a real diamond or not, follow the below listed diamond authenticity checks and you will be able to know if the new diamond jewelry you are going to buy or the diamond gift you have received is real or not.

Diamond authenticity check #1: First of all decide what are the tests that you can use. There are many types of tests to check the authenticity of a diamond and tell whether it is a real or fake. Deciding in between these tests is simple. Loose diamonds are easier to test and if you have one in your possession or you are in a jewelry store to look at a piece, it is a plus point.

A real diamond cannot be used as a magnifying glass.

Check your diamond before buying

Diamond authenticity check #2: For a loose diamond, place it on a sheet of newspaper or page of a book. Now place the diamond directly on the text and then examine it carefully. If you are able to see the text getting enlarged, then the diamond is fake because diamond cannot refract light and it can't be used as a magnifying glass.

Diamond authenticity check #3: Now use a small light for example a penlight or another source of concentrated light and try to shine light into the piece of stone. If you are able to see through the other side of the stone, then that stone is not a diamond and is fake because if you will look through a real one, you will be able to see a halo around the diamond.

A fake diamond

Diamond authenticity check #4: Check the setting of the diamond. There are many things to check when it comes to settings of the diamond. First of all, the majority of real diamonds available in the market are set in open-back setting because a real diamond refracts light better in open setting. Secondly, check out what is the type of metal that is used for fixation. Real diamonds are set with best metals for example 10kt gold.

Diamond authenticity check #5: Now you have followed all the four steps and you are absolutely certain that the diamond you are going to buy is real, then also to be on a safer side, ask for a certification like GIA certification (Gemological Institute of America). Keep a control on yourself before buying this really expensive item. Do not fall prey to jewelers who say that we use our own certification.

So always remember to buy certified diamonds for example GIA certified. Go ahead and listen to your own instinct when shopping for such expensive things. Keep your eyes and mind open. If the deal you are having seems too good to be true or you do not trust the jeweler, just walk away and do not take risks by ending up with fake diamonds.