Single Ready To Mingle ?

Okay, so here’s the deal. I was browsing through a couple of matrimonial sites (my freelancing job forced me to do so ! ) and I was a bit taken aback by what I saw.

Looking for a Bride

SOFTWARE ENGINEERS:

Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities) .

There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build.

She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY.

We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY OTHER Customer.

DOCTOR:

Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

LAWYER:

I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidatefor the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The girl should be willing to surender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lordi.e.Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

BANKER:

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

SHAYAR (Poet):

Badi muddat ke baad ek arzoo jaagi hai,
Ki hum bhi shadi shuda ho jaye,
Kya vajah shadi karane ki jo kahde sahi sahi,
To yaaron ab khud se kaam ghar ka hota nahi.

DRUNKARD:

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar. Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

CAR MECHANIC:

Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above average and must run the household at a good average..... .......

Interested? Click here

Not only boys, girls profiles are interesting too !

Looking for a Groom

Profile 1 : Our daughter is 26 years old. She is beautiful with fair/wheatish complexion and is excellent in studies. She is Godfearing, hardworking and has a fun loving personality with no mood swings. No bad habits. She is currently employed in a multinational company earning a crapload of money. Her dad is a kickboxer and is very protective of her. Her mom is a retired principal and loves giving impositions. She has two siblings, both in the army and having guns. We are looking for an alliance of same caste with a super crapload earning, NRI boy who’s a doctor/head of company/engineer/astronaut, yet down to earth and will look after her.

Profile 2 : Our daughter is 25 years and 364 days old. She is excellent in complexion and fair/wheatish in studies. She is hardworking by nature and funloving. Very religious too. Absolutely no bad habits or mood swings. She is currently employed in a college that receives funds from a multinational company that earns a crapload of money. Her dad is a principal and mom is a kickboxer who is very protective of her. She has one sibling – he owns a gun. We are looking forward to hearing from people of same caste who earns more than our daughter’s MNC funded college. He should be a /doctor/ down to earth astronaut/ engineer and look after her well.

Profile 3 : Our daughter is 26 years and 1 day old. She is extremely hardworking and very fun loving. She is fair throughout the day and wheatish by personality. God loves her. She has no bad habits and lots of good habits. Her dad is a retired army man who owns no weapons and mom is a housemaker. Her elder brother works in the Gulf, doing stuff which is not entirely illegal. We are looking forward to hearing from like minded NASA working outgoing spacesuit wearing pilots/doctors/engineers of same caste and pincode area, preferably from Earth if not down to it ,who will look after here.

P.S. She is a kickboxer and is very protective of herself. Prone to mood swings

Express Interest

Cheers !

Sajan Re Jooth Mat Bolo (Don't Lie, Dear )

Sajan Re Jhoot Mat Bolo is a Comedy TV serial on SAB TV introduces the greatest humor from situational lies and liars.

I sometimes used to wonder why we are always told to tell the truth or not to tell a lie. And then I came to believe that it was to keep our lives less complicated, because when you tell the truth you do not have to remember what you said, and also your brain does not have to do regression testing of every situation that may get effected. Just as in software testing, every time you make any small change in the code, you have to test and re-test everything to see that it is not affecting any un-imaginable or ‘not so obvious’ components, every time you tell a lie you have to do a calculation like chess moves and see where all you will have to synchronize the facts and lies.

Now this is what the scientists in the western world have recently found out:

“Brain scans show that the brains of people who are lying look very different from those of people who are telling the truth”, claim U.S. researchers. "There may be unique areas in the brain involved in deception that can be measured with fMRI," said Dr. Scott Faro, director of the Functional Brain Imaging Center at Temple University School of Medicine in Philadelphia. "There may be unique areas in the brain involved in truth telling," Faro added at a news conference. "We found a total of seven areas of activation in the deception (group)," he said. "We found four areas of activity in the truth-telling arm." Overall, it seemed to take more brain effort to tell the lie than to tell the truth, Faro found.”

Your brain actually has to make more effort to tell a lie, may be because you have to think, calculate and then speak. You have to cook up data in your brain and then speak, while telling a truth is just like querying data and publishing it as such without any manipulations.

Interesting, isn’t it?

The Sands Of Time by Sidney Sheldon

“The Sands Of Time” is a 1988 novel by Sidney Sheldon, which encapsulates the lives of four nuns of a Cistercian convent in Spain who elope during a military attack on the convent by the GOE (a special group formed to pursue basque terrorists) headed by Colonel Acoca. These four nuns of the Cistercian convent of the strict observance get trapped in the hands of Jaime Miro, a basque rebel wanted by the GOE. As it turns out, a slip of the tongue during a conversation with the nuns leads to a predicament which forces Jaime Miro to carry along the four nuns with his gang and escort them to their destination. Henceforth, the lot splits to travel in different groups taking different routes, thereby evading the watchful GOE army led by Colonel Acoca. The rest of the story is all about how this journey goes on, taking unpredictable turns.

First of all, I loved this fascinating plot and the sub plots by Sidney Sheldon. Sidney Sheldon has proven that he is such a master of dialogues and plot twisting. The characterization of the nuns and their background stories in spaced flashbacks were fun and riveting. I felt the novel getting a bit lewd quite unnecessarily a few times, as it would generally in most Sheldon works. Sidney Sheldon’s sarcasms and wit were pretty much present here as well and were amusing. Then, the climax was excellent. I was taken by surprise absolutely. I predicted a tragic end, but Sheldon made me smile with a happy one!!!

Thanks Rupali for the lovely gift !

Whatever Happens, Happens For The Best !

I always used to preach that whatever God does to us or happens with us happens ultimately for the good or better only. And I have been severely criticized for feeling so from absolutely all quarters, but this one belief stays and has been instrumental in carrying me through my life successfully and that is why I see something good happening to this world.

And sometimes things happen to us that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection we find that without overcoming those obstacles we would have never realized our potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of our soul. Without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people we meet who affect our life, and the success and downfalls we experience, help to create who we are and who we become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Lord knows what is best for us.

Cheers !